In news of the exciting world of me: my team has decided that I am trustworthy enough to get weighed every two weeks. Woot! Except that if I fall more than x number of pounds out of my range then I can't practice till I gain it back. And to make things more exciting... the two weeks leads up to a meet week. So, I actually cannot afford to lose weight. At all. Now because of this, I have to make sure I hit my calorie amount. Which means counting calories. Which means having to pick up an old behavior. Which kinda sucks. Like I was pretty much over counting calories but now I have to or I'm so screwed. And I don't reach out to my team anymore... so I have no accountability?!?! Pretty sure I messed this up badly. But at least my anxiety can rest a little since I know the calories. Positives?
Try not to pick up old behaviors.
Stay Strong
xo Aria
I can relate to the calorie counting. Before I sought inpatient Tx last year, I counted everything from 1 grape to a cracker. You name it, it did it. Now my therapist wants me to journal what I eat - not necessarily that amount, just what. Well, here comes that old habit. My thyroids are a mess b/c of Ana, my Dr suggests very small amounts of activity to keep my body energized.... but when no one is looking, I'm sure you can guess I tempted to tun 10+ mile. I went to my doctor last week, happy b/c I thought I had gained at least a pound or two - I had not, I had lost. I nearly sank in the floor and cried because I've been trying so hard . It's a difficult process. Thank God for giving me perseverance and a doctor who told me she'd never give up on me. When I think of the requests like journaling that irritate me, I try to remind myself that I refuse to allow Anorexia to defeat me. I'm going to use my story to help others. It is slow and it is difficult, but those who struggle are not alone and I want them to know that. I enjoy seeing your blogs. Please stay strong. We can do this. -- Christy
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry I didn't see this comment earlier!!! You are absolutely right. I have been that person that would count every little thing and it gets so irritating. And using your story to help others is a great idea! That's what I try to do with this blog. Nobody is alone. Ever. Thank you so much for reading them! If you ever need advice please don not hesitate to ask for my personal email! xx Aria
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