What is this craziness? I actually have a life. Not just a life but a life I'm not willing to give up. A life that I possibly could have had a long time ago. But no use in thinking about the past. Point is that my life is pretty awesome right now. It is so much better than being engrossed in my eating disorder. Which sounds ridiculous. Even to me. But no it is. It really truly is. There is nothing more satisfying than living. And that looks different for everyone and that's good. For me, the best parts of my week are during practice. Being able to hold myself up and the feeling of flipping over yourself. But the best is landing on your feet and knowing you stuck the landing. Knowing that you had the courage to let go and it worked. I don't know. It just feels freeing and amazing.
Not to mention... being present is awesome too. Actually being with people and being in the moment and experiencing things. It's a feeling I can't describe. But it is one that everyone deserves to feel. You will never want to go back. Especially after you smile for the first time without it being forced. Those seconds are priceless.
There wasn't much of a point to this post. So, I will end it with the best part of my day today. Which was definitely landing my back tuck. It was awesome and terrifying haha. And totally overshadowed eating a huge FEAR FOOD with my dietitian. Hehe.