Hello internet world. I am back. As always when I take a ridiculously long break, I will now begin with a quick catch-up on my life before actually getting to the topic of this post. In the past few weeks I have been to Israel, spent an inordinate amount of time at the gym, spoke at a support group, and am currently having a sleepover with a 12 year old. You could say my life is a little crazy. But I like it.
Anyway, point of this post. Israel proved to be a minor struggle for me in terms of eating and my hunger cues are all messed up again. But I feel awkward reaching out for help to my team or even my coach. (I would rather deal with my coach but I don't know if she would answer me). Let's put it this way....the scale and I didn't agree. But I don't post numbers. SO, that's all you can know. Basically, I am now tasked with fixing the disaster that came out of the most incredible trip of my life. Little ironic that I had more fun but managed to struggle at the same time. I texted my dietitian today and tried to say something about this whole situation to her but she's just been repeating herself. All she says is that I need to trust myself. Well, I'm trying to do that but it's probably a BAD idea. And yes, I know she's going to read this. I accept it. Gaining weight is hard for anyone with an eating disorder. Believe me, I know. But I have to do it. And that will be the strongest thing I've ever done. Out of struggle comes strength I guess. Or at least I really really hope so. Or I am so in trouble.
I don't know how this will pan out or if I will tell my coach or not. It's all kinda up in the air. DOn't worry though...there will be an update. I promise. Watch out for my next post!
Don't let your struggles change you.