The other day I met with my dietitian and she posed an interesting question to me that is still making me think. To start off, I'm leaving for Poland tomorrow for a week. And while I'm home I exercise four to five days a week. But obviously that won't happen this week. When she asked how I felt about it, I told the truth. I'm not worried about it. I just want to experience the trip. She then said " maybe this is something to look into. Why is it that when you're in Israel or Poland, places where you feel at one with yourself and connected, that exercise and food are so important to you? Why is it only when you come back that it becomes a big deal? And what is it that's missing here or that needs to be taken away from here to create that same feeling?"
I'm not going to lie, I thought this comment was crazy. Like of course it's different. I'm not the same person in both scenarios. Different things are expected of me. But that's okay. Yes, one feels more real and authentic and helps me be more introspective. Which honestly is what I think helps so much is that I'm truly able to work things out within myself and I'm allowed to grow how I want. Plus, there are people are want to listen and help you along the way. Judaism makes me feel so whole and amazing. It actually makes my soul on fire. Don't get me wrong. I love school and my friends and all of that. But it's not the same. It's more superficial. And I act more impulsively. Not to mention I'm so much more stressed out.
I'm just not sure how that plays out with food and exercise. Or what to put in or take out.